I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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