I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize