I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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