Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
