Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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