This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
