I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
