He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
