if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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