So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
