so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
