I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we made out on top of his cat.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
