mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
