if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
