Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also, beer. Big fan.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
