I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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