The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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