You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
