i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
