i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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