I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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