singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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