iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
