I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
