So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
