Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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