'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
