If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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