Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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