who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
