i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize