Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
