I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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