We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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