Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
