i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize