chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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