i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
