Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
