So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
