Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
