Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
