I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
