No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
