his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
