I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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