I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
