You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize