That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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