I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize