you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
