My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
