Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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