It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i came on her dog
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
