So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
