His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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