Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
