She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
