Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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