Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize