i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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