are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
