She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
