This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize