When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
