I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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