just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
