I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
home. puking in laundry basket.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
