He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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