My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Randomize
